The Romantic Husband

  Responsibility is a form of love, but carried without discernment, it can begin to cost more than it gives. People don’t usually set out to become “the responsible one.” They become it because something needs to be held together, and they are the ones who don’t step back when it does. At first, it looks like strength. You’re steady. You show up. You do what needs to be done whether you feel like it or not. People trust you because you’ve proven, over time, that you will not disappear when things become inconvenient. That kind of reliability is rare, and it matters. But responsibility has a way of hardening into expectation. Once you are known as the one who carries weight without complaint, the weight finds you. Not because others are careless, but because systems—families, marriages, communities—quietly lean toward whoever absorbs strain most easily. What begins as fidelity becomes infrastructure. You tell yourself this is what love looks like. And often, it is. The danger...

I’ve reached a point in marriage where two things keep the romance alive far better than candlelit dinners or long walks on the beach: butt pats and pet names . Yes, really. Forget diamonds — give me a well-timed booty smack and someone calling me “Honey Muffin,” and I feel fully cherished. Let me explain. The Drive-By Butt Pat: An Art Form There is a sacred marital ritual I like to call the drive-by butt pat . You know the one — you’re walking past your spouse on your way to the kitchen, the couch, or anywhere snacks might be found, and suddenly WHAP : gentle, supportive, affectionate contact. Now, some might call it juvenile. I call it emotional enrichment. A butt pat says: “Hey, I like you.” “Still cute.” “Nice pants.” “Just checking this is still mine.” It’s marital Morse code. Sometimes the pat is a playful tap. Sometimes it’s more of a soft squeeze that says, “Hello, yes, I am your legally bonded partner, and I appreciate your structural i...

  Tips for Changing Your Spouse Marriage has taught me it's a journey, not a destination. When I said "I do," I imagined I'd found my perfect match — and yet over time I've learned that marriage is a dynamic process that requires ongoing attention, work, and a willingness to adapt. As my partner and I moved through the ups and downs of married life, I often wondered how to gently nudge my partner in healthier directions without pushing them away. I love my partner for who they are, but I also want both of us to grow and evolve together — and I’ve found that the most reliable path to that growth is through changing what I do and how I react, not trying to force them to change overnight. Finding the right balance between acceptance and gentle influence has been crucial for a healthy, fulfilling relationship . In this article I share practical relationship tips and real-life lessons I learned the hard way — communication tactics, small behavioral nudges that actua...

  Welcome to The Romantic Husband If you’ve ever wondered what real-life romance looks like after decades of marriage, or what a long-married husband and romance author has learned about love, you’re in the right place. If you’re looking for practical marriage advice rooted in lived experience—tips you can try this week—stay a while. My name is  Gary M. Roberts , and I created  The Romantic Husband  to share the stories, insights, and lessons I’ve gathered from a life lived fully—as an  award-winning author ,  retired Chief of Police ,  Doctor of Theology ,...