What No One Tells You About Being the Responsible One
Responsibility is a form of love, but carried without discernment, it can begin to cost more than it gives. People don’t usually set out to become “the responsible one.” They become it because something needs to be held together, and they are the ones who don’t step back when it does. At first, it looks like strength. You’re steady. You show up. You do what needs to be done whether you feel like it or not. People trust you because you’ve proven, over time, that you will not disappear when things become inconvenient. That kind of reliability is rare, and it matters. But responsibility has a way of hardening into expectation. Once you are known as the one who carries weight without complaint, the weight finds you. Not because others are careless, but because systems—families, marriages, communities—quietly lean toward whoever absorbs strain most easily. What begins as fidelity becomes infrastructure. You tell yourself this is what love looks like. And often, it is. The danger...