The Romantic Husband

  Marriage rarely fails all at once; more often, it wears down through disengagement, and learning how to notice that erosion is an act of faithfulness. Most marriages do not end with a rupture. They end with a thinning. There is no single betrayal to point to, no moment that forces a reckoning. The vows remain intact. The household functions. From the outside, everything appears stable. Two people continue to share a life together, and nothing is obviously wrong. That’s what makes this kind of ending so difficult to name. Marriage burn-out rarely announces itself as unhappiness. More often, it arrives as efficiency. You get good at managing the marriage. You divide responsibilities. You handle logistics. You keep the structure upright. Over time, the relationship begins to run on competence instead of attention. This is not neglect in the obvious sense. It’s quieter than that. You still care. You still intend to stay. But you stop reaching in ways that carry risk. Conversations be...

I’ve reached a point in marriage where two things keep the romance alive far better than candlelit dinners or long walks on the beach: butt pats and pet names . Yes, really. Forget diamonds — give me a well-timed booty smack and someone calling me “Honey Muffin,” and I feel fully cherished. Let me explain. The Drive-By Butt Pat: An Art Form There is a sacred marital ritual I like to call the drive-by butt pat . You know the one — you’re walking past your spouse on your way to the kitchen, the couch, or anywhere snacks might be found, and suddenly WHAP : gentle, supportive, affectionate contact. Now, some might call it juvenile. I call it emotional enrichment. A butt pat says: “Hey, I like you.” “Still cute.” “Nice pants.” “Just checking this is still mine.” It’s marital Morse code. Sometimes the pat is a playful tap. Sometimes it’s more of a soft squeeze that says, “Hello, yes, I am your legally bonded partner, and I appreciate your structural i...

Romance doesn’t have to come with a three-digit price tag. Trust me—I adore my spouse, but I also love keeping money in my bank account. Over the years, we’ve mastered the art of the low-cost date night . These dates may not involve fancy reservations or waiters saying “excellent choice,” but they do involve laughter, connection, and sometimes competitive trash talk. Here are some of our favorite budget-friendly date nights that prove love doesn’t require a luxury budget—just a good sense of humor. 1. The “Gourmet” Stay-At-Home Dinner Date We light candles like we’re starring in a rom-com, then proceed to cook something that would definitely not impress Gordon Ramsay. Sometimes it’s homemade pizza, sometimes it’s breakfast for dinner. Either way, we pretend we’re judges on a cooking show while dramatically critiquing each other’s presentations. “Bold use of cheese.” “Thank you, I was feeling reckless.” Total cost: whatever was already sitting in our fridge. Bonus ...

  Tips for Changing Your Spouse Marriage has taught me it's a journey, not a destination. When I said "I do," I imagined I'd found my perfect match — and yet over time I've learned that marriage is a dynamic process that requires ongoing attention, work, and a willingness to adapt. As my partner and I moved through the ups and downs of married life, I often wondered how to gently nudge my partner in healthier directions without pushing them away. I love my partner for who they are, but I also want both of us to grow and evolve together — and I’ve found that the most reliable path to that growth is through changing what I do and how I react, not trying to force them to change overnight. Finding the right balance between acceptance and gentle influence has been crucial for a healthy, fulfilling relationship . In this article I share practical relationship tips and real-life lessons I learned the hard way — communication tactics, small behavioral nudges that actua...

  Welcome to The Romantic Husband If you’ve ever wondered what real-life romance looks like after decades of marriage, or what a long-married husband and romance author has learned about love, you’re in the right place. If you’re looking for practical marriage advice rooted in lived experience—tips you can try this week—stay a while. My name is  Gary M. Roberts , and I created  The Romantic Husband  to share the stories, insights, and lessons I’ve gathered from a life lived fully—as an  award-winning author ,  retired Chief of Police ,  Doctor of Theology ,...