The Romantic Husband

  There is an age-old question that has haunted married people since the invention of mistletoe: What on earth do I get my wife/husband for Christmas? If you’ve been married for any length of time, you know the struggle is real. Early on, gifts are easy—romantic, dramatic, possibly unnecessary. But after a few years? Things get complicated. Please— not another wallet (I like to pick my own, thank you very much). And maybe skip the “sexy nightie” that will be worn exactly once, just long enough for your spouse to prove they appreciated the effort. My wife and I, like many long-married couples, tend to buy what we need when we need it. Which means that when Christmas or a birthday rolls around, the gift ideas well has usually run dry. Honestly, it’s hard enough figuring out what to get her , let alone telling her what to get me . Thankfully, I married a very smart and very practical woman. Around our fifth year of marriage (she could probably tell you the exact year, dat...

I’ve reached a point in marriage where two things keep the romance alive far better than candlelit dinners or long walks on the beach: butt pats and pet names . Yes, really. Forget diamonds — give me a well-timed booty smack and someone calling me “Honey Muffin,” and I feel fully cherished. Let me explain. The Drive-By Butt Pat: An Art Form There is a sacred marital ritual I like to call the drive-by butt pat . You know the one — you’re walking past your spouse on your way to the kitchen, the couch, or anywhere snacks might be found, and suddenly WHAP : gentle, supportive, affectionate contact. Now, some might call it juvenile. I call it emotional enrichment. A butt pat says: “Hey, I like you.” “Still cute.” “Nice pants.” “Just checking this is still mine.” It’s marital Morse code. Sometimes the pat is a playful tap. Sometimes it’s more of a soft squeeze that says, “Hello, yes, I am your legally bonded partner, and I appreciate your structural i...

Romance doesn’t have to come with a three-digit price tag. Trust me—I adore my spouse, but I also love keeping money in my bank account. Over the years, we’ve mastered the art of the low-cost date night . These dates may not involve fancy reservations or waiters saying “excellent choice,” but they do involve laughter, connection, and sometimes competitive trash talk. Here are some of our favorite budget-friendly date nights that prove love doesn’t require a luxury budget—just a good sense of humor. 1. The “Gourmet” Stay-At-Home Dinner Date We light candles like we’re starring in a rom-com, then proceed to cook something that would definitely not impress Gordon Ramsay. Sometimes it’s homemade pizza, sometimes it’s breakfast for dinner. Either way, we pretend we’re judges on a cooking show while dramatically critiquing each other’s presentations. “Bold use of cheese.” “Thank you, I was feeling reckless.” Total cost: whatever was already sitting in our fridge. Bonus ...

  Turns out you don’t need a luxury retreat or a relationship guru to fix communication issues. Sometimes, all it takes is one simple habit — practiced consistently — and a good sense of humor. Recognizing When Something’s Off in Your Marriage When Everyday Arguments Become Competitions   Every relationship has its bumps, but ours started feeling like we were training for the Arguing Olympics. If the tiniest things — like laundry, the thermostat, or the dreaded remote control — turn into major disagreements, your marriage might be waving a tiny emotional white flag.   The Great Dinner Duel: Our Wake-Up Call Most couples argue about who has to cook — not us. We argue about who gets to cook. Passionately. Somewhere between a whisk and a passive-aggressive comment, I realized: We weren’t fighting about dinner. We were stuck in recycled communication patterns. And boom — a lightbulb moment, courtesy of pasta night. My Big Issue: Life-lo...